wheels on the sea

[rose]

i want the moon
the distance to you
the stars that sparkle with your laughter
the time to stop at eternity
and all the thoughts to end with such beauty
i want to speak only for you
and danse only for you
and laugh only for u
my smile will be your sun
my eyes your only door
the keys you hold only open me
take me for a neverending ride
upon the sea.
AKL

its a little rough...

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[Hannibal]

A little rough indeedy. I think it's pretty choppy at certain parts. Certain aspects seem to come and go real jumpy like, to me anyways, and in my read of it. I like it, and I see a lot of promise to this one, however I think it needs to perhaps have a little more elaboration, or maybe take away some rif raf...
it's your poem...so edit as you see fit.

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As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...

If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
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